Insane
by deathpuppet13
Summary: Arthur is a doctor at the Pendragon Institute for the Mentally Unstable. Merlin is a schizophrenic girl that talks to, see, and hears people that aren't there. and Arthur has fallen for her although he'd never admit that. Fem!Merlin and Arthur for the win!
1. Chapter 1

Insane

I walked back to my office to start my end of the day paperwork. I had made my rounds and made sure all the patients were in bed. It was Tuesday so Morgana was sitting in my secretary's desk and she handed me a few files. I thanked her and went into my office. I sat until I heard a small knock on the door. It was timid and quiet so I looked up and there stood Merlin. She was a fairly new patient and she was very quiet and sweet. I was one of her doctors and I had started to fall for her, although I'd never admit it.

"Arthur," she said her voice trembling as if she was going to cry.

"What is it Merlin?" I asked standing up. She stood and looked at the ground. She was a pretty girl of about 5' 11" and 100 pounds. Her hair was the color of the night and her skin was pale except for her lips which were a cute little pinkish-red color. Her hair reached to about in between her shoulder blades and consisted of loose curls.

"Arthur I can't sleep," she said and I walked to her. I placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and she looked up her cobalt eyes filled with tears. I stooped down and looked her in the eyes.

"Why don't you stay here with me for a little while and then we can put you back to bed hm?" she nodded and I beckoned her over, it was like this almost every night. I sat in my desk and she came and sat in my lap with her head buried in the crook of my neck. I did my paperwork and when I was finished she had fallen asleep. I looped an arm under her knees and around her back and carried her out of my office. Morgana stood and I shook my head not wanting to wake up the poor girl.

I carried her to her room and laid her on her bed and pulled the sheets up to her chin. I combed her hair out of her face and watched her. I usually never stayed longer than putting her to bed but tonight I felt odd. I wanted to stay. I gave her forehead a long kiss, very unlike me, and left. I got my coat and scarf and pulled them on, it was winter and freezing. I picked up the files from my desk and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Something is VERY Wrong

I woke up to my pager buzzing rapidly. I looked at it and all it said was: "Merlin!" I jumped up and got dressed quickly. I threw on a t-shirt and jeans with a hoodie. I ran to my car and went as fast as the speed limit would let me. I ran through security and rushed down to Merlin's room. Gwen was standing outside and I could hear Merlin yelling on the other side of the door. The windows that looked into her room were uncovered by the shades and I could she her curled up under her desk with her knees to her chest and hands over her ears.

"What happened?" I asked over her noise.

"She just woke up like this!" Gwen said and let me into the girl's room. Gwen peeked in through the window because she had shut the door behind me.

"Merlin!" I said over her cries. She didn't hear me so I dragged her out from under the desk and pinned her arms to her sides. "Merlin!"

When she heard me she immediately stopped and so I let go of her arms and used the back of my hand to stroke her cheek. "Merlin it's okay. You're awake now, it was a nightmare. You're alright." I continued to soothe her like this until she sat up and threw her arms around me crying into my shoulder. I pulled her into my lap and let her cry. She cried herself to sleep so I picked her up and set her into her bed and sat there for a moment. I let out a sigh and rubbed my face. I looked at the window and there stood a crowd of nurses and doctors. In that crowd I saw Lance, Gwen, Leon, and my father.

I walked out and ignored all the questions thrown at me. I dragged myself to my office. I felt some people following me but I was so tired that I didn't care. I unlocked my office and fell into my chair. "How did you do that Arthur?" I heard my father ask.

"I don't know."

"How did you know what to do to calm her down?" That was Lance.

"I don't know!" I snapped. "Something in me just knew and reacted!" I rubbed my face tiredly. "Sorry for snapping like that but I really don't know."

"Okay Arthur, go home and get some rest," Father said and I nodded and dragged myself out to my car. I drove to the house and fell into bed. I slept until my alarm went off and I took a quick shower. The warm water relaxed my muscles and helped get rid of the tension. I walked from the bathroom to my room and dressed quickly.

I strapped on my pager and grabbed my mobile. I clipped on my doctor's ID and left the house grabbing a piece of bread, stuffing it my mouth quickly. I rode along and grabbed a quick cup of coffee and went to the institute.

I stood outside for a moment and walked in and waved at the clerk in the front desk. She smiled and I walked to my office unlocking it. I hadn't even sat down when my Father knocked. "Morning Father," I said setting my coffee down on my desk. "What can I do for you this morning?"

"Nothing just coming to see how you're doing," he said and I started looking through the files on my desk. Merlin's was there. I pulled a face. "What?"

"I have to sign an incident report over what happened last night," I said trying to compose myself.

"Of course, Miss Emrys could have injured you last night."

"She's a hundred pounds soaking wet, she couldn't hurt me!" I shouted standing. "You know that as well as I do!"

"Arthur calm down, there is no need to shout. Just sign the report and the incident will be behind us," My father said. I picked up the report and crumbled it up and threw it in the trash.

"I will do no such thing." I said it evenly and calmly. "If you'll excuse me I have patients to attend to." I growled and left. I went to Merlin's room and she sat staring out the window. I knocked on her door and she turned to me and gave me a weak smile.

"Hi," she said and her voice sounded tired.

"Hi. How are you feeling this morning?" I said and pulled up a chair and sat next to her. She didn't look at me so I just sat and waited. "Merlin, you know we're gonna have to talk about what happened. Why don't you tell me why you were under the desk?"

"I was scared," she said and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Why were you scared?" I asked gently.

"I had a nightmare and it scared me. I didn't know I had woken up and you weren't here so I didn't know what to do…" her eyes started to tear up and I patted her knee.

"It's alright just calm down. Do you want to talk about what happened in your dream?" I asked.

"NO!" she screeched.

"Merlin calm down if you don't want to talk about it we won't. We can talk about something else. Has Freya been reading to you recently?" I asked knowing she was done talking about last night.

"No but Gwaine and Percy have been visiting me," she said and brightened up. "Gwaine says I get prettier every time he sees me!"

I smiled and said not thinking, "You are really pretty Merlin. One of the loveliest ladies I've ever seen."

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Really really." I said and she laughed happily. I stood and stretched. "Well Merlin I have to go do some paperwork and check on some other patients. I'll see you around lunchtime?" she nodded and I waved goodbye. I walked and check on some other patients and talked to Leon.

"Hey Arthur," he said as I walked up.

"Hey Leon, after lunch can you take Merlin Emrys from 347 to the interview room. I think I can diagnose why she's not sleeping and why she wakes up the way she does. Thanks," I said as he nodded. I walked back to my office slowly passing her room. Gwaine and Percival were there so I left without her noticing.

When I got to my office Gwen greeted me, she was my secretary for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. She handed me Merlin's file when I asked for it and I started evaluating what little was in there. She had never really been in much of trouble so there were only her basic information sheets in there. No diagnosis had been made about her sleep troubles or her talking to people when no one was there.

I wrote down some questions and tucked them and her file placing it into my desk drawer locking it for safekeeping. I slipped the key into my pocket and went to get Merlin for lunch. She was sitting listening to Gwaine read when I knocked. "Hello Merlin," I said. "Gwaine, Percy. I've come to take you to lunch if you're ready."

"Can Gwaine finish this chapter? Please?" she asked giving me her puppy eyes.

"Gwaine?" I asked.

"Merlin we just started this chapter I think you should get something to eat and we'll finish it tomorrow. Alright?" Gwaine said it gently and softly. Very different than he talked to everyone else. She nodded and walked to me beaming that grin of hers.

"Are you ready?" I asked and offered my hand. She took it and nodded. I walked her down to the cafeteria and she was quiet like always. She sat down after getting her lunch and I got mine and went to my office to eat. I finished and asked Gwen to take my tray and left to the interview room with her file and a tape recorder. I set everything up and Merlin arrived with Leon. She sat down across from me. I pushed the record button on the tape recorder.

"What's that thing?" she asked.

"It's a tape recorder. It records everything you and I say do I can go back and listen to it later. I'm going to ask you some questions is that okay Merlin?" I asked. She nodded and I pulled out the sheet with my questions on it.

"Just answer yes or no to my questions okay? Do you sleep at night?" I asked.

"Sometimes."

"Do you have nightmares when you do sleep?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember them once you wake up?"

"Yes?"

"Do they frighten you?"

"Yes." She said and her voice cracked.

"It's alright Merlin. You're okay, I need to ask these questions so that I can try and help. Have you ever lashed out one you wake up?"

"Yes, but I don't mean to!" she said quickly.

"Alright Merlin, now comes the harder part. Do you see people when they aren't there?" I asked and she thought for a moment. "Merlin? I need you to answer."

"People tell me that there's no one there but it feels like they are," she said finally.

"What are the people's names that you see?"

"Will and Mordred."

"Tell me about Will."

"Oh, Will's my best friend. He got into a car accident and everyone told me he was dead but then I saw him and he talked to me. People told me he wasn't there though."

"Good, now tell me about Mordred."

"He's a little boy. He tells me not to trust the doctors. He tells me I shouldn't trust you." She said this ashamedly like she didn't want to talk anymore.

"Is that all Merlin?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Okay we're done now. Today is November 27th 2012 and I am Doctor Arthur Pendragon interviewing Miss Merlin Emrys age 17," I said and pressed the stop button. I picked up the tape recorder and her file.

"What now?" she asked.

"Now I try and figure out why you aren't sleeping and about your nightmares and other things," I explained. "And you go back to your room and try to rest. You look tired."

"I am but I can't sleep or else the nightmares come back," she said as we walked. I stopped at her door. "Just try and rest a little. Not sleep just lie down and rest."

"Okay."

"If you need me I'll be in my office just come and get me. Promise?"

"Promise," she said and closed the door behind her. I walked to my office and rewinded the tape. I listened to it a few times and started looking up her symptoms in The World Book Medical Encyclopedia. It wasn't making any sense. It wasn't night terrors because she remembered but it wasn't nightmares because she was so frightened. He started to write in her file.

**Name: Merlin Emrys**

**Age: 17**

**Gender: Female**

**Family: Hunith Emrys (Mother)**

**Balinor Emrys (Father)**

**Diagnosed with: Schizophrenia**

** Nightmares/Night Terrors**

**Diagnosed by: Dr. Arthur Pendragon**

**Symptoms: Talks to "Will" and "Mordred" when there is no one there**

** Wakes up in the night screaming and terrified, refuses to talk about nightmares. Not sure if caused by not remembering or being too frightened by her nightmares.**

I finished my report and gave it to Gwen to give to my father or Gaius to check over. I sat in my office, I had nothing left to do for a while so I decided just to relax, not something I get to do much with my stressful job. I kicked my feet up on my desk and leaned back. My break was short lived because soon after I heard a loud knock. I fell backwards into the floor and jumped up to see Merlin standing in my doorway.

"Why were you on the floor?" She asked.

"Dropped something," I said lamely. "What is it?"

"I'm bored, I don't have anyone to talk to. I thought maybe I could sit in here… with you," she said the last bit almost shyly.

"Yeah, go ahead I'm just sitting here anyway. I'm waiting for some feedback from a friend," I said and she sat on the side of the desk closest to me. I felt a blush creeping onto my face. I picked up a book and tried to focus but she was staring at me and I knew it was because I was red-faced. She giggled girlishly and I pushed my chair back against the wall. I covered my face with my hand trying to hide the blush that was spreading across my face.

I tried really hard to focus but I couldn't, especially with Merlin laughing. She started laughing even harder and she was leaning backwards when she suddenly fell off the desk. She went silent and I jumped up and knelt beside her.

"Merlin, are you alright can you hear me?" I asked and she chuckled weakly.

"I'm alright," she said and I sighed in relief.

"Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded. I was so close to Merlin and she was just staring at me with those big blue eyes. I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers experimentally. She tangled her fingers in my hair and I took it as encouragement. I kissed her until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked up and in the doorway was my father. I sat up and Merlin looked where I was.

"We'll speak about this later," Father said darkly and left the room.


	3. Chapter 3

I stood and brushed myself off. My father had definitely not been happy. I helped Merlin to her feet and she looked upset. "What is it Merlin?" I asked.

"I got you in trouble, I'm sorry Arthur. Don't be mad at me please," she said her voice trembling.

"I'm not angry, it's fine. He's been angrier before."

"Just don't be angry with me please." She looked so innocent and vulnerable. I gave her nose a quick peck and checked the time. It was starting to get late.

"I better get you to bed, it's getting late." I grasped her hand and she leaned against my shoulder. I walked her to her room and led her to her bed. She curled up gripping my hand tightly and when I tried to get up pulled me back down at her side. She held my hand tighter the more I tried to get away. She fell asleep and then I was able to slip my hand out of hers but I stayed in my office. I felt myself falling asleep and couldn't fight it. I was asleep the second my head hit the desk.


	4. Chapter 4

While I was asleep I could tell that things were happening around me but couldn't open my eyes. I felt a warm pair of hands stroking my back and then they trailed up my neck settling with running their fingers through my hair.

I managed a hum of approval which woke me up. I felt a warm body pressed against mine and I turned slightly to see it was Merlin. Her black hair framed her face in pretty waves. Her eyes had a glimmer that I had never seen before but her skin was pale and the dark shadows under her eyes were standing out making her look gaunt. "Merlin?" I asked and she nodded slowly. She buried her head in the back of my shirt and I felt it growing wet. She was crying. "What is it?" I turned her around and sat her in my lap.

"The nightmares. It happened again. It was different but worse," she shuddered. "You're the only one I'm ever going to tell what happened. You won't get mad or laugh will you?" She looked up with those big blue eyes, so pleading and innocent.

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said pushing away a stray hair from her face. She sniffed and took a few deep breaths.

"It was horrible Arthur. I saw a person I loved dying, I saw you dying." She sniffed and continued. "You were standing there, merely in a room that I don't recognize, and then something hit you and you starting writhing and screaming in pain. You kept repeating 'Merlin! Help me! Please help me!'" Her body shook violently. "I couldn't mover, or breath, or even think. I was so scared and you kept yelling for me to help you. It's usually the same dream but my mum and dad, or Will. Sometimes even Gwaine and Percy. This is the first time it's been you." She swallowed and I shushed her rocking her like a child.

"Merlin that's not going to happen, I promise. That will never, ever happen. I pulled her closer toward me. She clung to me tightly and cried silently. I kissed her hair and breathed in her scent. Eventually she looked at me with and gently touched my cheek. She ran her thumb across my cheek and did something completely unexpected, but not unwanted. She gave me a gentle kiss on the mouth. She tangled her fingers into my hair and I cupped her cheek. I pulled away and leaned our foreheads together. She leaned her head in the crook of my shoulder and fell asleep. I carried her to her room and walked to my car. I drove home and my father stood there arms crossed and clearly irritated.

"Where the hell have you been?" he asked angrily.

"I fell asleep, I'm sorry Father. Then Merlin was talking about her nightmares and I had to out her back to sleep," I explained glancing longingly at the stairs that led to my bedroom.

"Arthur, she's not a personal patient she shouldn't matter so much," Father said and looked at me concerned. I felt the rage bubble up inside me.

"She may not be important to you but she is to me!" I shouted. "She's not just some girl Father."

"Damn it Arthur! I am your Father and you will listen to me! You will NOT fall for her and you will NOT take a personal interest in her!" He yelled and I saw Morgana standing on the stairs in her white nightgown and white lacy overcoat.

"I don't want to speak about it now Father. Hello Morgana," I said and Father looked to see her on the stairs. I walked to my room and as I stopped to kick off my shoes Morgana shot a glare at Father and took my arm, walking me up the stairs.

"Arthur," she said when she had closed the door, "Do you really have feelings for the girl?"

"Yes Morgana, she's the most sweet and beautiful girl I've ever met in my life. I've never felt like this about anyone." I stripped off my shirt and replaced it with my nightshirt.

"Arthur, Uther is just concerned about you. I am as well. You've never really seemed to be…" she trailed off.

"What?"

"You aren't exactly… Well, to put it bluntly, Arthur we don't want you to break the poor girl's heart. You've never had a serious relationship before. You're so flippant and sometimes it seems like you're cold to them." Morgana shifted and I sucked in a breath through my teeth.

"Morgana she's different than all those other girls. I really like her, I want to see her as she was. Healthy and happy and I want to be in her life. It's hard to describe," I said. "I need to get some sleep so goodnight." I flopped onto my bed and rubbed my eyes tiredly.

"Goodnight Arthur," she whispered and lingered in the doorway, "sleep well brother, happy dreams." With that she left and I drifted off.


	5. Chapter 5

I felt a presence behind me. I was standing in the woods, no sure which ones, and I turned slowly to see Merlin. Well, something about her seemed off. She didn't walk, it seemed like she was floating. She was in a long white gown that flowed about her and her hair was longer. That wasn't what was making me uneasy, it was the fact that her eyes were a different color, blood red. "Merlin?" I asked and then she lunged toward me shocking me into consciousness. I sat up and looked around the familiar room, my bedroom and counted to twenty to calm myself. I looked around me and my eyes fixated on the clock. It read 10:47. I jumped out of bed and slipped on the floor. I should have been at work hours ago! I ran down to the kitchen and Morgana sat there staring at my disheveled appearance.

"Arthur, it's your day off," she said. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped into a chair. "So what's wrong with you? What's Uther on your case for?"

I squirmed in my seat like a naughty school boy and looked at the pattern of the table in front of me, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Arthur Pendragon!" She snapped making me flinch. "Tell me what is going on!" I looked up and I could practically see the steam coming out of her ears.

"Alright, I kissed Merlin." After I had said it a deathly still silence followed. Morgana stared at me and I traced the grain of the wooden table in front of me.

"Is that all?" she asked sounding a bit bored.

"Is that all?! Morgana I could get in a lot of trouble! I could lose my job!" I yelled standing. I sat down again and swept a hand over my face. "Doctors aren't supposed to get involved with patients but I can't help it, there's something about her." Morgana laid a hand on my shoulders. She whispered into my ear.

"Arthur, there is nothing to be ashamed about loving someone," she retreated and when I looked up she had left the room. In her stead was Father, leering down at me. I stood and he avoided my eyes for a little while. He sat and looked out the windows overlooking the cityscape.

"Arthur, you don't have to worry about your job, I'm not going to report you. I'm not angry, I've had time to think about it, I approve of her, except," uh oh the big except, "that she's a mental patient."

"What does that matter, if you had read my diagnosis; you would know that she could be discharged. I believe she's schizophrenic and had night terrors, or chronic and severe nightmares. She's not crazy. If I could do a simple experiment-"

"No Arthur! I don't care how much you try to slight her conditions, she is deeply disturbed and needs the facility, she's been there for three years and that's where she will stay!" Father yelled.

"How can you tell the severances of her conditions if you've never taken her out of the institute, she can't function in society if she's locked up? What are you going to do? Keep her cooped up in that place until she dies, or really does go crazy?!" I yelled not caring what my father thought of me anymore.

"Arthur, people like that don't just get better," Father said almost gently.

"Father, her parents locked her up right after her best friend died! He died! They didn't want to deal with their daughter's problems so they locked her up in a mental institute. She won't be able to relate to anyone if no one tries to understand. She needs a few days out of the place. I'll personally attend to her if that's what it takes, please, just give her a chance." I ended that last bit in almost a whisper. Father turned his back on me and stared out the window.

"Alright, you have a week. She will leave the institute today and come back on the upcoming Sunday. If she cannot function in normal society by then, she will stay at the institute until she can. Don't blame yourself if she can't Arthur." I started to walk away and I barely caught my father's final sentence, "You can't save them all."


	6. Chapter 6

I ran to my car while simultaneously buttoning my shirt. I finished off my shirt and fumbled to put my keys into the ignition. I calmed down and then tried again, starting my car and pulling out of the driveway slowly. I drove calmly to the Institute and when I walked through the doors trailing my fingertips along the wall. I walked to her room and she sat next to the window reading, her hair cascading in curtains framing her pale face. The sun glinted off her hair and gave it a brown-black glow. She looked livelier than the last time I had seen her, there was a rosy flush to her cheeks and her nose was a bit wrinkled in her concentration. I gazed at her not wanting to disturb her but she looked up and a radiant smile graced her elfish features when she saw me.

"Arthur!" She shouted jumping up from the chair dumping the forgotten book onto the floor. She leapt into my arms almost knocking me over. I hugged her and when she pulled back she was staring at me expectantly.

"Hi there. Sorry, it's my day off that's why I didn't come in earlier but I have good news. You're getting out of here until next Sunday. It's another test. You're going to be staying with me. Let's get you packed up," I said happily. Her face lit up and then fell. "What?"

"I haven't been out of here in so long, what if it's really different than before?" She looked so confused and upset that it was endearing.

"Merlin, I promise that you won't have to worry," I said. "I'll be staying with you and I promise I won't leave you alone." She nodded and we started to unpack the things in her wardrobe into a suitcase that had been sitting in a corner. We packed her book that had dropped onto the floor packing it with the rest. I carried her luggage and she followed. I checked her out with little difficulty and when we walked out the door she stood on the steps and looked around. She smiled and then we walked to my car.

I loaded up her stuff while she waited patiently in the car. When I plopped into the driver's seat she kissed my cheek. "What was that for?" I asked.

"For getting me out of there. I appreciate it, although I'm anxious to meet your family, all of it anyway," she said and I grabbed her hand giving it a squeeze. I drove through the curving streets and watched out of the corner of my eye as she looked at everything out the window eagerly. She smiled at me and then when I turned to go to our house she sat in her seat and smoothed her hair, dress, and corrected her posture.

"It's just going to be Morgana, Father should have left to go out to some thing or another," I said and she looked at me curiously.

"What about your mother?" she asked.

"Uh, she died when I was very young. A few weeks after I was born actually," I said as I pulled my car up to the house and parked. I got out and popped the trunk to grab her suitcase. I tucked it under and arm and opened her door, taking her hand and shifting the suitcase at the same time, dropping in in the process. I lunged forward to grab it but toppled over. I felt the gravel hit me in the face and then some grass.

"Arthur!" she exclaimed and I stood up. She laughed and pulled a few blades of grass from my hair. I picked up her suitcase and we walked to the house. I set the suitcase down and she looked around curiously.

"It's not much, but its home," I said and she looked at me confused.

"Your house looks like a castle compare to my parent's house. It was only a one bedroom, it had a living room though so that's where I stayed." I watched her and took her hand with her suitcase in the other. I walked her to the room beside mine. I pointed the bathroom across the hall out to her. I set her suitcase in her room.

"So, my room is right next to yours, call me if you need anything. I'll try to find Morgana so you can meet each other," I said and right as I said it I heard a voice behind me.

"No need, I'm right here." I turned to see my sister walking in. Merlin clutched my hand and I took hers in both of mine. "Hi, you must be Merlin. Arthur has definitely talked about you, all good I assure you." Merlin was shaking so I pulled her to me. She extended her hand and Morgana shook it gently.

"Merlin, this is my sister Morgana, also my secretary sometimes. Morgana, this is Merlin, the most gorgeous girl in the world," I said looking into her face and kissing her nose. Her face turned red from the tips of her ears to the neckline of her shirt. Morgana and I laughed a bit at her shyness.

"Don't feel embarrassed Merlin," Morgana said. "Well Arthur, I have to start cleaning the kitchen and start lunch for when Uther comes back. Why don't you show Merlin around?"

"Okay. Come on Merlin I'll show you the Hall of Fame and Shame," I said. She looked at me and I walked her to the wall of all our school photos. I told her about all the pictures on the wall and she stifled giggles at my third grade pictures. I had a gap toothed smile and I loved to smile as wide as possible to show how many teeth I had lost. "They aren't that funny."

"I won't argue with that, it's cute though. You being all puffed up about your teeth being missing," she giggled. "My pictures were awful. I had short cropped hair that made my ears stick out. My hair never laid flat and that gave me the look of a lopsided bird."

"That sounds cute," I said. She shook her head and we proceeded down the hallway to my high school photos. I tried to skip over them, I had a bit of an acne problem in high school. We walked down and my pictures stopped. "That's it," I said.

"Why aren't there any pictures of your Mum?" she asked.

"Father doesn't exactly like to have pictures of her around the house, I guess it's too painful. He barely speaks of her."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried like that."

"It's alright," I said.

"Did he get rid of them all?" she asked.

"I thought you didn't want to pry," I said laughing. "No, I took them down and I have them in my room."

"Oh, okay." I took her hand and I heard someone clear their throat. I turned and there stood my father with Morgana behind him. Morgana had her hair tied back and was wearing an apron. She hand her hand on his shoulder and I walked toward them.

"Afternoon Dad," I said and brought Merlin forward so I could wrap an arm around her shoulders. "This, as you know, is Merlin. Merlin this is my father, Uther Pendragon."

"Hello Miss Emrys," Father said glaring at her. She shrunk back.

"Hello sir," she squeaked out. She held out her hand shyly and my father ignored it. She withdrew it and I pulled her closer.

"So, why don't we help Morgana prepare lunch?" I asked Merlin and she nodded shyly.

"I haven't cooked in a while, but hopefully I can help," she said.

"Don't worry Merlin, Arthur can't cook at all," Morgana said. She winked and we followed her to the kitchen. We helped her chop some vegetables and put some bread dough in the oven. We laughed and set the table.


	7. Lunch of DOOM

I sat Merlin next to me and Morgana sat across from us. Father sat at the head of the table. We passed the food around the table. Merlin timidly sent Father nervous glances every now and then. Father cleared his throat and set down his spoon, "So Merlin, how are you?"

"Good thank you. How are you?" She asked politely.

"Very well." We all sat uncomfortably in silence until I decided to break the silence.

"Merlin, what is it that you're always reading?" I asked and she smiled. A light emanated from her as she responded.

"I just love the story of King Arthur, the love triangle of Guinevere, Lancelot, and Arthur. The betrayal of the Lady Morgan to Arthur is an epic tale of sibling rivalry. It fascinates me," she said.

"What is the legend of King Arthur, I've never really read it much. I have a rudimentary knowledge of it because I read it in my high school literature class, but that was a long time ago," Morgana said thoughtfully.

"I could let you borrow my book," Merlin said, "My professor gave it to me as a gift for my graduation, getting my Associates Degree from university. I used to take notes on the topic and quite a few of my notes are stuck in the various pages. I hope you don't mind but I'd like to keep them there so I know what I was talking about."

"Of course Merlin it wouldn't be a problem," Morgana said smiling and I wished I had known a bit more about the subject.

"Thank you, I seem to a bit scattered brained sometimes. Unless I directly quote the passage in the question, I forget what it I was referencing," Merlin said smiling sheepishly.

"I'm terrible for it Merlin, don't worry, half my uni books have notes scribbled into the margins mostly. Questions I had and so on," I said gesturing vaguely. She smiled at me and I felt my heart flutter. She really was spectacular. Father noticed and went back to his meal. This was the most awkward meal of my life. Morgana seemed to supply the conversation though.

"So Merlin, what field of study would you have taken if you hadn't been diagnosed?" Morgana asked taking a dainty bite of food.

"Well," Merlin said tilting her head thinking, "I wasn't exactly sure but probably Literature, of Arts, or maybe Education. I hadn't exactly thought of it."

"All three are great endeavors , don't you agree Father?" I asked. Father set his napkin down and thought for a moment.

"I think Education is a wonderful career, I'm not a man of Literature but I suppose it is as well but Art is something that is too impractical to call a career." He stated it as if his word were law. Merlin's eyes narrowed and before I could stop her she was retorting.

"You can't say that! Many artists are very successful and their paintings sell for millions of dollars. Every artist will have their day! Look at Picasso and Van Gogh, let's not forget Da Vinchi, not only was he a brilliant artist he was an inventor! That's something impractical as well but they all succeeded!" Merlin had a spark that I had never seen, she was secretly a little spitfire. I smiled and so did Morgana. Father, not so much, he seemed taken aback but he composed himself.

"They are professionals, they were good at their trade."

All pros had to be beginners," she stated and stood walking away. I stood to go after her but I stopped because she was back with a folder. She tossed it onto the table. "See beginners to pros. These were some of my students, well I mostly tutored them but these are their works. Their masterpieces, don't tell me that they don't deserve a chance." She leaned against the doorframe with the arm that wasn't against it on her hip. Father Morgana and I crowded around. Morgana and I ooh'd and ahh'd over every piece while Father browsed stoic as ever. He tacked them into a pile and slipped them into their proper places. One small card sized piece fell out, one we hadn't seen. It fluttered to the table and I picked it up inspecting it carefully, it was, well, it was me, but not me at the same time. Merlin squeaked and then snatched it out of my hand tucking it into her pocket. "You weren't supposed to see that one."

"Why not it was good," I said trying to get to her pocket to take it out and look at him once more.

"It's a dorky doodle is all, promise," she said dodging. I let it drop and sat back at the table gesturing for her to do the same. She sat down and pointedly looked at my father. He looked at her as well and merely nodded.

"I believe that I owe you an apology Miss Emrys, I was wrong," he said and walked to his office. I wrapped my arm around her waist and kissed her temple. I slid my hand into her back pocket and slowly extracted the paper. She didn't notice and I slipped it into my own. She still hadn't notice and I mentally congratulated myself for being so sneaky. We sat and finished and when we had washed the dishes we went into the sitting room and watched old movies from Morgana and I's collection. It was a fine day.


	8. Chapter 8

I had gotten Merlin settled for bed and was lying down in my own. I pulled the piece of paper that I had gotten from Merlin out of my pocket. I looked at it carefully and it was odd that this character Merlin chose me to represent. Across the top written in her elegant handwriting was two words, King Arthur. She had used me as reference for King Arthur. The same golden hair, the same blue eyes, even the same bone structure, there was no denying that I was the reference. I was confused, flattered, and happy at the same time. I flipped it over and over between my fingers until it became hypnotic for me. I felt my hand drift down and my eyes flutter shut. I woke myself up and shook my head. I couldn't fall asleep now, I needed to think about what I could do with Merlin.

I could bring her to the park and we could hang out there. She could sketch and draw while I watched. Maybe, I suppose that could work. Maybe I would just ask her what she wants to do. I got up and walked to her room and when I got there she was curled up asleep in her bed. It was endearing to see her asleep, almost as a kitten would. I leaned in her doorway and watched her sleep. She turned fitful and thrashed around wildly. She mumbled and she started awake, not screaming just scared. She looked around expectantly. "Thank God you here," she said. For a moment I thought she was talking to me but her gaze was settled on a chair near the window. "Will, I was scared that you might not come back. Yes I know that doctors make you nervous but these aren't doctor doctors, they're mental doctors. Yes there is a difference. He's not that bad Will. He has a name you can't just keep calling him 'Blondie', that's why he has a name. It's Arthur if you need to know there nosy. I trust him. What? Why aren't you coming back?!" She sounded panicked. "I don't want you to go, you don't have to. Please Will." Her eyes welled up with tears and she took a deep breath. "You're right, at least this time I can say goodbye. Before you go can I tell you something. I'm sorry, I was in the car and I should have taken your place. My heart was a match but they wouldn't let me give it to you even though we were in the same state. Goodbye Will."

"Merlin?" I asked and walked in. She snapped her attention to me. She smiled and wiped at her tears. "Merlin, are you having survivor's guilt? Were you in the crash that killed Will?"

**A/N: Dun dun dun! What! Sorry that this chapter was short but I wanted to leave you in suspense.**


	9. Just a note

**Author's Note: Hey guys, deathpuppet13 here! I'm leaving for my family vacation tomorrow morning and I've been working dilegently on the next chapter of Insane, it's gonna be long but it also explains quite a bit about Merlin's past. I'm about halfway finished but I'm going caving and the next few days i will be offline. If you guys will all leave me comments, things you might want to see, guesses on what happens nest, or just if you want me to continue I'd love it and will eventually get to respond to each and every comment after i come back. I also will have a few days off of school after i get back and will be working on Insane and a few other Merlin and Harry Potter fics that I've been working on.**

**Lots of Love and Apologies,**

**deathpuppet13 XXX**


	10. Chapter 10

_Last time on Insane: "Merlin do you have survivor's guilt? Were you in the crash that killed Will?"_

"I don't want to talk about it," Merlin said glaring at the sheets in front of her. "It's ancient history, buried, forgotten. I never want to talk about it!"

"Merlin, it's important," I tried.

"No it's not! I don't want to talk about it!" she shouted. Her head was hung low and tears began to drip down her face and plop onto the sheets, darkening them. I sat on her bed and hugged her shoulders.

"Merlin, I know you don't want to talk about it now but remember that I am here to help you. You can talk to me and I won't laugh or look at you any differently. I can promise you that."

"You can talk to me as well Merlin," Morgana said walking in her nightgown flowing behind her. "We're here for you." She nodded and wiped her tears. She smiled at me and Morgana. I pulled out her picture and set it in her open palm. She merely took it and tucked it in her pocket. I stood and set a gentle hand on the back of her head. I leaned forward and kissed her head letting it linger before exiting the room and entering my own. I stretched out and leaned back trying to take in what I was thinking. Maybe Merlin wasn't schizophrenic, maybe she had PTSD. Maybe not though, that didn't explain the boy that she saw, this Mordred. I decided to ask her about it later. Tonight both of us would get a good night's rest. I stood and stripped off my shirt to go to bed. I sat back on my bed and reclined yawning as I did so.

I was dozing off when Morgana came in and sat on the end of my bed. "I need to speak with you. Merlin talked to me about what happened that night." I sat up suddenly alert.

"What did she say?" I asked.

"She said that Will had come to pick her up from school, she had stayed a little later at the library to catch up for end of course exams and she needed a ride. Will was just getting off work and had had a bit too much to drink, he worked at a bar, not completely drunk but not exactly sober either. She had a sneaking suspicion that he was a bit hammered but she let him drive anyway. A little while later he saw a dog and swerved to avoid hitting it, but he didn't have the right depth perception so he jerked the wheel a bit too hard. The car spun around for a while and then when the passenger side tires got stuck in the deep part of the ditch it fell onto its side. She was able to dial for help but then she passes out. They had to track the GPS on her cell phone. They were both driven to the ICU immediately and that's when Will's heart started to fail. They knew that Merlin's heart was a match and they weren't sure she would pull through, if Will could get a heart then he would definitely pull through and mend. Merlin's parents refused to sign for Merlin to donate her heart." Morgana's eyes were tearing up and I wrapped an arm around her. I rubbed her shoulders soothingly and she sniffed until she had composed herself. She nodded and thanked me for listening leaving the room.

I let out an exhausted sigh and walked to Merlin's room. "Merlin?" I asked knocking lightly.

"Come in," she said softly.

"Can we talk?" I asked. She nodded. "Morgana told me what happened. I can't say that I know how you fell, well I can but I would be lying. Please talk to me, I want to help, I just need you to talk."

"Ok," she said softly. "When I woke up in the hospital my mother and father weren't there and I was scared, all I remembered was seeing Will really banged up and calling the ambulance, I was scared. I called a nurse and asked her what happened. She explained everything to me and that Will was in a medical induced coma and on all these breathing things to help his heart and lungs work. I asked to see him and she helped me into a wheelchair and let me see him. His mum was there and she was so nice to me even though I blamed myself for everything, she sat and we cried together and then she told me that she was going to have to take Will off the life support. She told me that they couldn't find a heart donor that matched. I asked the nurse if I was a match and she said yes. I begged for them to take my heart so that Will would live. I wasn't medically stable and no one was sure if I would live but when the doctor approached my parents about it they refused to let me give Will my heart. He died and I was checked out of the hospital only for the funeral. It rained that day, I stood and immediately fell to the ground lying on top of his grave. When my parents tried to move me I yelled for them to leave me alone and not to touch me. I cried and sat in the rain until I passed out. I woke up in the hospital and after that I didn't talk for the longest time. I felt like I had forgotten how." She paused for a minute to calm herself. "I was checked into the Institute and then I felt like I had a few people that would accept me so I slowly began to heal. I knew Gwaine from high school and Percy by association and then I met Lance and the others, all leading to you. Like my northern stars." She smiled but it was obviously weak and forced.

I covered her hand with my own. She tried to be calm and I wrapped a soothing arm around her. I rubbed her shoulders and upper arm in a trying to be comforting. I could feel she needed a rock to cling to and I wanted to be that rock, that person that helped her to gain her footing, to stay steady. I took a deep breath and decided that we both needed a good night's sleep. I started to stand but she grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me back onto her bed. "Please don't go." I didn't look into her eyes but her voice was pleading.

"I can't Merlin," I said and looked up stroking her cheek and looking into her deep blue eyes. She was fragile and the desperation was overwhelming. "Alright." I lay down next to her but was stiff and planned on leaving as soon as she went to sleep. I felt her curl up into my side like a kitten and her breathing evened out so I decided it was now or never. I snuck away from the bed and had almost gotten out the door when I heard it, a small whimper that made me stop dead in my tracks. Her whimpering turned into small tinny cries and I crept back to her bed. I sat down and watched as she thrashed around and fisted her small hands in the sheets. I sat closer and the cries turned back to whimpers and her grip on the sheets lessened. I lay facing her and she quieted curling up against my bare chest. I put a protective arm around her and vowed to myself that I **would** be Merlin's protector and her rock for as long as I could. With that vow I fell asleep only to be woken what seems like moments, but are actually hours, late by the opening of the bedroom door. I kept my eyes shut not wanting to wake up fully but that idea was soon trashed.

"ARTHUR PENDRAGON! GET OUT OF MERLIN'S BED THIS INSTANT!" It wasn't my father as I had feared at first but Morgana. I am startled awake and sit bolt upright as Merlin stirs and looks up at me. "HOW DARE YOU!" Morgana screeches throwing books at me. I tried to dodge them but a few land on-targets. "You are despicable! Defiling a young flower such as Merlin! She's your patient! She's only seventeen and you're twenty!" She stormed forward with more books and threw them.

"Hey!" I protesting, no doubt turning a bit red, "No one defiled anyone!" I gestured o the fully clothed girl next to me and stood, I was still wearing pants. "Merlin is only seventeen and has had a traumatic night, no one with half a heart would try… that. Hopefully you can attest to me having at least half a heart." We all stood in silence and Morgana sighed.

"Arthur, you do realize that I, not from personal experience, know that people can redress after… certain, nighttime activities." She crossed her arms and pouted. "I don't for one minute trust you so I'll ask Merlin." We both turned to the teen who was sitting in bed.

"What are we talking about?" she asked. She looked so innocent and was staring wide-eyed at us.

"Merlin," she said sitting on the edge of the bed and took the younger girl's hand, "We're talking about you and Arthur, intimately." The puzzled look on Merlin's face never wavered. I stifled a chuckle. Morgana sent me a glare. "At least one of you two is innocent!" She quipped. I held up my hands in a sort of surrender. Morgana leaned forward and whispered in Merlin's ear. Merlin's face turned crimson and she looked down at the sheets.

"No, that certainly didn't happen." She looked so embarrassed and awkward that I intervened.

"Really Morgana, do you think me that cruel that I'd take advantage of a seventeen year old in emotional distress, I didn't think you thought so little of me. I have never in my life been a predator of that variety." I said pouting a bit. Merlin giggled and I winked at the girl. It was then I noticed that's exactly what she was, a girl, a young woman but not a full grown adult. She had actually not yet turned seventeen, now that I thought about it. "She's barely of age."

"I'm not of age Arthur," she said looking up. "I'm not seventeen yet." We both looked at Merlin a bit confused, the age of consent was sixteen. "I have to be seventeen Arthur."

"Merlin you only have to be sixteen."

"Oh yeah. I'm thinking of the laws in my home country," she said.

"Home country?" I asked.

"Yes, I lived in Ireland until I came here to go to the Institute, that's the only reason my family lives in England." She said it as if it was something she said every day.

"Oh, well now that we have that all cleared up we can go down stairs for breakfast," Morgana said skipping slightly. "See you both downstairs. Don't do anything naughty while I'm gone." She winked and shut the door behind her. I groaned and flopped down onto the bed. Merlin took my head into her lap and stroked my hair. She kissed my forehead tenderly.

"You know Arthur," she started, "If I found my brother, if I had one, in bed with a girl I would assume the worst too." I yelled and started chasing her around the room. I finally caught her and lifted her up spinning her around. "I love you." She said it quietly and I smiled.

"I love you too," I said and covered her mouth with my own, capturing it in a quick kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

Merlin and I dressed separately in our own rooms. When she reappeared she was wearing a light blue knee-length dress with long sleeves. It had a round neck-line and was form fitting at the waist. She held out a pale hand and I took it as if in a trance.

We made light conversation and I finally snapped out of it when she said something strange, "It was odd. Last night I was sleeping soundly and then my dream changed it was weird. You stood in front of me and all the nightmarish things stayed back, like they couldn't touch us. Then you started fading and they started coming after me, but then you came back and stayed with me the rest of the night and they stayed away. It was weird right?"

"Yeah, really odd," I said absently. I shook my head, there was no way that she could have felt my presence, it was impossible and yet there it was, she had felt me. I smiled and walked with her downstairs. We were greeted by my father's stiff nod and he walked out to go to work, like when we were children.

"Don't you have to go to work Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"No," I said, "You have my full time and attention."

"Oh, I feel special getting to monopolize your time then," she said rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, lucky you," Morgana said peeking out from the hallway. "I've had quality time with my little brother."

"I'm not even three months younger than you," I protested. Merlin eyed us.

"Wait if you're brother and sister than how?" Merlin asked.

"Different mothers," I stated. She nodded and we fixed our bowls of cereal and sat down. We all sat quietly for a while before Merlin broke the silence.

"May I see the pictures of your mother?" She asked it timidly and I was shocked for a minute. "I'm sorry that was a bit sudden and rude."

"No, it's alright, I wasn't expecting it was all." I took a deep breath and took her hand leading her to my bedroom. I sat her on the bed and opened my closet. I ducked under the clothes and took out one of the floorboards, finding what I was looking for, a shoebox. I pulled it out carefully and carried it almost reverently to where Merlin was sitting. Morgana had joined her and we all sat watching the closed box like it may bite any moment. "Well are we going to stare at it or open it?" I asked. Both girls nodded and I opened the lid revealing a teddy bear with a photo album and a few loose pictures.

I picked up the bear and stroked its honey colored fur lovingly, it was the only toy that my mother had picked out herself. I set it aside tenderly and pulled out the photo album. Mother and my nanny at the time, Jennifer, had made it together. Jenny had taken photos and Mother and she had arranged them in the photo album. Mother, although Father disapproved, had always been friendly with the nurses and nannies that took care of me and Morgana when we were smaller, it was her way of showing she cared and that she wasn't going to let anyone hurt her children. I smiled at the memory and we opened the book. The first picture was my Mother and I when I was born, next to it the headline about us: _Wife of Doctor Uther Pendragon Given Birth to Son_. It was a short article that read: _Igraine Pendragon, wife of famed Doctor Uther Pendragon, had given birth to a healthy son who they have named Arthur. While in an interview Uther commented that both mother and baby are doing well. "The only drawback is he doesn't sleep," laughed Doctor Uther. He smiled and waved off any more questions._

I read it and touched the crinkled, yellowing paper affectionately with a smile. I showed it to the others and they smiled as they read it too. I flipped the page and there was me and Morgana and Jenny on the floor together. Both of us were still babies lying on the ground sleeping while Jenny watched us. I flipped the page and there I was climbing the coffee table to stand on shaky little legs. The bottom of the page was me smiling with my hands off the table and standing on my own. These were the types of photos we had first times and then we had the last picture which always upset me a bit.

I was about three and I was sitting on my mother's lap in the hospital. It was one of the last times I saw her. I was sitting leaning against her gently and both her arms were wrapped around me sheltering me. In her hands was my favorite book, _The Giving Tree_. She always used to seriously look me in the eye when she finished and told me that I should be like the tree and do what I can for the ones I loved.

"What are you thinking about?" Merlin asked poking me.

"Just what my mother used to tell me when we finished _The Giving Tree_. She used to tell me that I better be the tree when I grow up because that is what good people do for their loved ones," I said. "I never really acted on it until she was gone." I picked up the last few photos that were loose in the bottom of the box. They were all of when I was older, graduation for kindergarten, first time riding a bike without training wheels, prom, high school graduation, and college graduation. I had written a little note to my mother on each of the backs telling her how I felt about each photo and how much I missed her. We read a few of them and Merlin stared at the picture of prom. It was me in my black and red suit with Viviane, my girlfriend at the time, and Morgana in green with Leon in a matching green and black suit.

Her eyes stayed fixated on Viviane. Viviane had pale blonde hair curled into wispy ringlets that hung about her waist. She wore a red dress that was strapless and fitted to the waist. From the waist down it was like a wedding dress with the princess look about it and it was just off the floor. She was smiling at me and I was merely smiling weakly at the camera.

"You look thrilled Arthur," Merlin commented.

"I didn't really want to go but Viviane dragged me into it, we actually broke up because of it later that month. She was quite clingy, that's really the reason we broke up," I said. "I hadn't really remembered much about prom until now. I didn't really care for it too much."

"Meaning that he sat back, had fun with the boys and me, and ignored his date. Had a few drinks too. Thought it was funny because he danced with me and his guy friends but not his date," Morgana chuckled.

"I did not dance with my guy friends," I said indignantly lying.

"Lance, Gwaine, Percival, need I go on?"

"You danced with Gwaine?" Merlin asked trying not to laugh.

"No! I danced with some girls!" I protested. Morgana and Merlin smiled knowingly and I scowled.

"Well, I have a question," Merlin said. "What are we going to today other than laugh at you."

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Well Merlin, it Gwen's birthday and she's having a party at a nightclub if you want to come," Morgana suggested.

"That's tonight?" I asked. She nodded. "Well Merlin, do you want to go?"

"I don't know, I've never been to a club before," she said. I snorted. "What?"

"You're friends with Gwaine and you've never been to a nightclub?" I said skeptically.

"Gwaine and Will were protective!" She said the tips of her ears turning red. "They never wanted me around a whole bunch of people drinking. They were afraid some pervert would try to take me home."

"Well there's a first time for everything," Morgana encouraged.

"Wait," I said. "Hold on, Merlin has never been exposed to a nightclub and she's still in her trial run of life reintroduced into society! She can't just dive right in head first!" The doctor in me stepped forward and scolded me to stand up.

"If it will make you feel better I will stay next to you the whole time," Merlin said.

"Alright, I guess," I said. "Let's go."


	12. Chapter 12

The day when by without incident and when the sun began to go down Morgana took Merlin into her bedroom, locking the door and I decided to get dressed for Gwen's party. I dressed casually, a red V-neck with a dark suit jacket. I pulled on a pair of dark-blue and grey jeans with my black converse. I looked in the mirror and decided to do something with my prim hair. I combed the front, making it look messy, and left it like that. I walked around my room knowing Morgana was going to take forever. This time she was preparing herself and Merlin. I called up a few of my friends to see who was going.

It seemed forever before Morgana reappeared. "Are you both primed to perfection?" I asked mocking her saying.

"Yes, and may I introduce the new Merlin Emrys," She gestured to Merlin who was peeking around the door. She held out her hand and Merlin walked out. She was stunning. She wore a mid-thigh length black dress with a blue bodice with black lace over the top. She was wearing shoes like mine with black lace tights. Her hair was pulled back with a hair comb inlaid with glittering blue stones (fake of course but nonetheless beautiful). It made her eyes even bluer and I couldn't help staring. She blushed and stood behind Morgana trying to hide. I held out my hands and she took both of them.

"You look gorgeous Merlin. I thing Gwaine will agree with me," I said. She gasped.

"Gwaine will be there?" She asked excitedly. "I haven't seen him outside of the institute since Will's funeral. Gwaine always did look awful in black and green…" She trailed off. She shook herself and snapped out of it. "Sorry, no bad memories tonight!" She smiled and was back to her old self once more. We went out to my car and drove to the club. We walked to the back and got into the rooms in the back. We were met by Gwen, Lance and Gwaine. He looked shocked to see Merlin but when he came to his senses he ran up and hugged her spinning her around in the air.

"Hey there Princess," he said putting her down gently. "How'd you spring the joint?"

"Arthur has decided that he thinks I'm fine. That I should be allowed to be here." Gwaine nodded in my direction and I gave a curt nod in response.

"So, we're just waiting for Leon and Percy," Gwen said. In a few minutes Leon should be here and he'll be getting Percy on his way here."

"Oh, and Merlin, you look very beautiful," Gwaine said. He slung an arm around her shoulders and grinned while she turned red.

"You can thank Morgana, it was her idea," she said. She hugged Gwaine around the middle and he gave her shoulders a squeeze. He let her go and we all sat at the table laughing and talking until Leon and Percy walked in. Leon went up to Morgana and hugged her and Percival watched Gwaine with Merlin.

"Hi Percy!" She smiled waving.

"Hello love," he said and she wiggled out of her chair and ran up hugging him. He had to stoop down because he was almost a whole foot taller than her. She walked back to our table and sat in between Gwaine and me. We talked for a bit until the birthday girl decided we should go out and join the club. Merlin looked a bit frightened but she came along anyway. She seemed to relax after a bit though. Gwaine boldly took her hand and led her out to the dance floor. They talked inaudibly to me but she was laughing and smiling so I was happy.

"Now, we're gonna slow things down," The DJ said. Gwaine pulled Merlin closer and they danced like two awkward teens at prom. I smiled despite myself. Percival tapped me on the shoulder.

"You know he used to be in love with her right?"

I looked over at Percy and then back at Merlin and Gwaine. "Really?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah, when he was a senior and she was a freshman he fell head over heels. She was all he ever talked about. She was a really smart girl and they had an algebra class together, plus their visual arts. He thought he would make his move when she offered to tutor him but he was scared," Percy said watching the couple. Merlin let out a laugh her whole face lit up and she was beautiful.

"Gwaine, scared? I'd never believe it."

"Yeah, that day at the library me and Lance stood outside, support for our mate you know, and he looked almost like he was going to ask her and then he said something and rushed out. We caught him in the hall and asked him what was going on. He told us that he couldn't do it, she just kept smiling at him and looking at him with those big, gorgeous blue eyes and it was making him terrified. We told him just to grow a pair and ask her. We dragged him back to the library and he sat down with her. They seemed to be getting on well but he kept stalling. She stood up to leave and he asked her. Quite loudly actually, we heard it in the hallway. She just smiled said something gave him a slip of paper and left," he said. Gwaine twirled Merlin and she laughed as he pulled her even closer than she was before. "Turns out that it was her phone number."

"What?" I asked. I wasn't angry just a bit surprised. "I never pegged Merlin as a flirt."

"Well that was quite a while ago. She's changed." Percy said and his eyes widened. I looked over and Gwaine was leaning in to give Merlin a kiss. I was shocked. She turned her head away and said something. He looked upset but she gave him a peck on the cheek and a pat on the shoulder. She walked back over quickly leaving Gwaine behind looking shocked. She came up and sat down next to me and gave me a peck on the cheek. She locked her fingers with mine and I led her out to the dance floor.

I stared at our table where my friends were staring slack-jawed. They had never seen me dance before, at least not sober anyway. The song was upbeat and Merlin seemed to be a bit flustered that I danced so close to her. At the end of the song I kissed her hard on the mouth. She pulled back and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," I said and kissed her softly. She smiled and we walked back to our table. She sat down next to me and I ordered a drink but when I asked what she wanted she just shook her head.

"I don't drink," she said.

"Come on, just a couple?" I asked. She shook her head adamantly. I felt like an idiot, "Oh!" I said my epiphany striking. I leaned in so no one could hear, "It's because of Wi- I mean, you-know-who." She nodded. I put my drink down and pushed it away from me.

"Thank you," she whispered, her breath ghosting over my ear. I nodded dumbly. I felt my face get warm and I slipped off my jacket hanging it on my chair. The whole room felt like it was getting warm. She sat back in her seat looking pleased with herself.

"Well," Gwen said her attention on me. "Arthur Pendragon blushing like a virgin, I've seen it all." I hid my face in Merlin's shoulder while everyone laughed at my expense. I kissed Merlin's neck making her lift her shoulder to shake me off. She chuckled trying not to laugh.

"Stop, that tickles," she squeaked out. I kissed the hollow right behind her earlobe and she stiffened. I felt her skin warm and she buried her face in my hair. I peeked from behind her hair and everyone had odd looks on their faces. Like they were watching a pair of newly-weds. I straightened up and the night progressed with laughs, dances, and at the end of the night we drove home happy.

When we got home Father stood glaring and we looked like contrite schoolchildren. I stepped forward. "Where have you three been?" he asked. I tried not to flinch at his tone.

"It was a friend's birthday, we went out with her and a few others," I said.

"With Miss Emrys?"

"Yes, a club is a social scene-"

"You brought her to a club!" my father shouted.

"Yes," I said evenly. I felt the girls flinch. "You said that she had to be reintroduced to society so that's what I did."

"I suppose," Father said. He glanced at Merlin who was peeking over my shoulder. "Just be more careful Arthur." I nodded. I led Merlin back to her room and she pulled me into the room and closed the door behind me. She pushed me against the door and I was surprised by her strength.

"I love you," she said it forcefully and kissed me on the mouth hard making my teeth cram into my lip. She pulled back and let me go. I kissed her goodnight.


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up the next morning and walked out to the kitchen and fixed you some pancake batter. I started to make eggs and bacon on the other parts of the stove top. I turned and cooked for a while enjoying the peace until I heard a thump at the end of the stairs. I ran toward it and saw Morgana had jumped down the last few stairs. She combed her hair out of her face and smiled weakly at me. "Coffee?" I asked. She nodded. I went and began brewing some strong coffee. I shut off the stove and placed all the things that had been cooking on plates. I set them at the table and looked at Morgana, her hair was messy and her pajama bottoms were slung about her hips. She wore a camisole and a robe over top of it all.

Merlin walked down the stairs and smiled happily. She sat at the table and I pushed an empty plate towards her, "Go on and you two get something to eat, I'll check on the coffee." I got up and Merlin timidly picked up a pancake and bit into timidly. She set it on her plate and got some bacon and eggs as well. I poured a cup of coffee for Morgana and brought a pitcher of milk and the sugar bowl. Morgana fixed her coffee and I got a glass of water for Merlin when she asked. They both ate and I got a plate out of the cupboard and a mug of tea. We ate in silence and soon Father sat down with the paper. Morgana provided conversation and we talked lightly.

Father seemed to be in better spirits than last night. He seemed happy and altogether content with this Tuesday morning. When we had finished Father left and came out a few minutes later in his clothes for work and he left. Before he left he gave us all glances and good-byes. We all watched the television for a while until Merlin got up and came back a few minutes later with her King Arthur book and glasses. She put on the glasses and began reading, while she read she draped her legs over my lap and I set a hand on her pale knee. She looked up for a moment and then went back to her reading while I watched a footie match. I watched a few miscellaneous shows until Merlin finally closed her book and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"What was that for?" I asked.

"Nothing, just because I wanted to."

"Okay," I said.

"I don't have to have a reason do I?"

"No," I said, "I guess you don't." The rest of Merlin's experimental week went well. That Sunday the board members for the Institute called Merlin for a hearing.

She dressed in a modest light blue dress with a white short-sleeved sweater. She put on a pair of black sneakers with Morgana quickly exchanged for white flats. She was then dragged, quite literally, to the bathroom to have Morgana do her hair. When she came out her hair was in a neat ponytail except for her side-swept bangs and one single curl on the other side of her head. She looked professional but not like she was trying too hard. She looked pretty and normal.

We all got in the car and drove to the Pendragon Institute for the Mentally Unstable. I led her to the conference rooms near the back of the Institute. This was where the interviews were conducted. Merlin sat in her chair and I stood in the corner leaning against the wall. My father, Gaius, and a few other doctors, including an older man named Geoffrey, walked in. I waited as they began speaking to themselves.

"Good morning Miss Emrys," Father said.

"Good Morning Dr. Pendragon," she said quietly.

"I'm sure that my son has explained to about what this hearing is about, had he not?" She nodded. "Alright then, so this hearing can now come to order. Miss Emrys's doctor has applied for her release. We gave her a trial-run of reintroduction into society and she has had no problems at all. No night terror symptoms. Her schizophrenia symptoms have decreased to my knowledge. Is what I've said so far true?"

"Yes sir," Merlin said. "The people are gone. I haven't seen them in a while, sine the first day that I came to stay at the Pendragon house."

"Very good, now can I speak to Dr. Arthur Pendragon alone?" Father asked. Merlin nodded and she and Morgana left the room. I stepped forward and sat in Merlin's recently vacated seat. "So, has she had any symptoms in the past week?"

"No, she was telling the truth, she hasn't spoken of or towards Will since she came to our home. She seems to be cured. I think that if she hadn't come to the Institute she wouldn't have displayed the systems of a mental affliction. I think it was merely a grief-stricken young girl trying to gain her best friend back. I truly don't believe there was anything wrong with her to start with." I concluded, making sure to pause and not rush through to make my point.

"Thank you," Gaius said and Father nodded. "If you will leave we will make deliberations on whether or not Merlin will be readmitted or released." I rose from my seat and walked into the small room that served as a waiting area. Merlin jumped and I patted her shoulder reassured.

"What did they say?" she asked anxiously.

"They're deliberating now, it might be a while now though." She nodded and the next hour and a half felt like a century. We waited in anxious silence, and every so often I would pet Merlin's head, give her a kiss on the cheek or on the forehead and reassure her that everything would be okay. After those tense moments a man came out and summoned us back inside. She sat and I stood behind her right shoulder, laying a comforting hand on it.

"We have decided," Geoffrey said, "That Miss Emrys's case is quite valid."

"We have also decided that she has no reason to lie," Gaius helped.

"We have come to the decision that Merlin is hereby released from the Pendragon Institute for the Mentally Unstable, henceforth and starting immediately," Father finished a rare grin spreading across his face. Merlin jumped out of her seat and I scooped her up and spun her around. Tears of joy were streaming down her pale cheeks and I kissed her full on the mouth in my happiness. She tangled her delicate fingers in my hair and I set her on the floor, placing my hands on her waist. Her other arm was slung around my neck and I moved one hand from her waist to her cheek.

All of the council at once cleared their throats and we broke apart, me grinning like a fool and Merlin blushing. We both ran out to tell Morgana who was thrilled. That day was the beginning of a long and happy few months. But it all ended too soon.


	14. Chapter 14

A few weeks after Merlin was officially released her parents came back to claim her. We stood in the living room of my home, our home when they came in. Merlin's mum I had seen before, when Merlin had been transferred into my care she had instantly wanted to meet me to find out if I was capable or not. Her father on the other hand, I had barely even heard of.

When they walked in Merlin ran up and hugged both of her parents. Her father was a tall man with black hair with shots of grey tied back in a ponytail at the base of his neck. He was a thin man and I supposed that's where Merlin got it from. He hugged his daughter tightly and I felt terrible for accusing them of just shipping Merlin off so they wouldn't have to deal with her problems. Her mother was of medium height and build, with long brown hair in a bun. She too hugged her daughter zealously.

"Thank you for taking care of our little girl," Hunith said. "We're glad she has such a good friend."

"Mum, Arthur's not my friend-" Merlin started but Hunith cut her off.

"Oh well then doctor. Come on Merlin we're going home. Back home to Ireland."

"What!" Merlin exclaimed.

"What did you think was going to happen?" Balinor asked. "We told you that we weren't coming here for choice. You have your family and friends back in Ireland, back home. "

"But I don't want to go!" Merlin said.

"You have to," Balinor insisted. "You don't have a job or a place to stay here."

"She could stay with me," I offered. "Merlin and I have become quite close and… I love her." Both of Merlin's parents looked at me. "She is and will always be welcome here."

"There's no need. I'm not leaving. I will never leave you. You are the Arthur to my Merlin, and they were not separated until death. And I hope to be the same," Merlin said. She grabbed the front of my shirt and kissed me full on the mouth. I pulled away.

"I can't ask you to be separated from your family."

"You don't have to ask, I've made my decision. What's your?"

"I wouldn't give you away for anything in the world."

"Then we have a mutual agreement." Merlin turned to her family. "I will miss you but I'll come home for the holidays and whenever I get lonely." She smiled her radiant smile that made any and every heart melt.

"Alright," Hunith said. Balinor looked at her incredulously. "What? You and I were the same way. I can't deny Merlin her happiness. She is my only daughter and I love her more than anyone. If you love something, set it free, and if it comes back to you it is yours, if it doesn't it wasn't yours to start with."

A few months after that Merlin and I saw off Merlin's parents back to Ireland. She called them every so often and they kept it touch. I can honestly say that we all lived happily ever after. The end.


End file.
